misfortune..misfortune..

it has been so long since this.and i have been in great depressed since.right now, i really dont understand people who like to take advantage over someone else' misery.last saturday, i lost my wallet.no, someone stole it.i prefer to portray it that way.i just dont understand why you want to take the whole wallet.why cant you just take the money and left the wallet alone.it's my mistake i put all my important and valuable documents there but i guess i just havent realise the awful condition of our people nowadays.we are becoming like a third world country where safety is very hard to feel anymore.when i came back to office and told my story, everyone were with their own version of misfortune.kak su with snatch theft.kak ita with someone broke into her house.and many other dramatic events of stories..before this, i always believe that people are still honest and care about others even though i have also encountered with snatch theft when i was form 5.i love to think positive and all sugar, spice and everything nice about people around me.but from that moment of time, i just become very suspicious about them all.especially with the exceeding numbers of foreign workers in our country, home is just so not home anymore.

hati ini lagi

lagi lagi hati ini.
semua pun pasal hati ini.
hati yang gundah,gulana,gedik,gemalai.
hati orang lain aku tak kisah.
ada aku kisah.
tak ada.
hati aku je yang penting.
apa yang aku nak sebenarnya.
kan lebih baik aku bahagiakan orang lain dan terima tempiasnya daripada merungut tentang soal hati yang sememang sudah jelasnya takkan puas walau diumpan dengan emas berjongkong-jongkong.
semua tu kan tak ada maknanya melainkan hati yang sentiasa ingat padaNya.
kenapa kau tamak.
kenapa kau pentingkan diri sendiri.
kenapa kau asik nak tanya kenapa.
kenapa kenapa kenapa!
cubalah bersyukur.....
hati kau.
hati org lain?

*balik ni aku nak makan hati.hati ayam sebab doktor kata aku kurang darah merah.yeke?

my SEXAY...

i just got my Persona. i named her Sexay as she is sooo sexy to me.she's my current obsession for now.I lurve u Sexay!! o,just realize havent snap any pic in Sexy yet.shud definitely do it asap and post here.

walk,walk,walk
gasp,gasp,gasp
walk,walk,walk
gasp,gasp,gasp

run,run,run
gasp,gasp,gasp
run,run,run,
gasp,gasp,gasp

urgh!i really need to exercise.

Pelangi Petang saya yang sangat Indah

Temani saya disini
Sehingga sinar pagi menari
Tidak
Jangan pergi
Saya tukar fikiran
Tinggal disini
Sampai bila-bila

Mari kemari
Kejapkan dudukmu
Eratkan pelukmu
Satukan jemari ini
Benarkan ia terjadi
Jangan pergi

Berudu Malam

aku menulis ini untuk memberi motivasi pd diri sendiri.
aku menulis ini kerana tiba2 ia berlegar dalam fikiran selepas menulis entri semalam.
aku menulis ini kerana aku merasakan perlu saja.
aku menulis.

akukah berudu malam itu
yang tak terlihat kelibatnya
tak memberi makna
yang terperosok dalam kelam

berudu malam,
walau terpijak kaki basah
namun tak terasa
sehingga sakit urat nadi

berudu malam,
tak menempel sekelumit makna ada

berudu malam,
andai disuluh ke lopak itu
pasti kau lihat sinarnya
sinar hitam pekat berkilat

akukah berudu malam itu

setelah hujan berhenti

sekarang ni musim hujan.petang2 mesti hujan.hujan lebat pulak tu.balik keje,kadang2 takut jugak dengan angin kuat,air hujan dengan diameter yang besar menempelak cermin hadapan kereta Avanza (kereta keluarga) sampai tak nampak jalan raya.angin kuat macam larat je nak angkat kereta yang boleh tahan besar ni.

tiba-tiba teringat zaman kecil2 dulu.kalau time mcm ni (pukul 530 ptg keatas), mesti pergi cari mak kat dapur yang tengah buat kuih ketayap.dengan bau fresh daun pandan terjengok2 sambil meneka mood mak."mak, boleh keluar main?".suasana kat luar terlihat titisan-titisan embun menitik dari daun-daun pokok tanda hujan baru berhenti.sebenarnya hujan masih belum benar2 berhenti tapi ditahap selamat yang mana kalau keluar pun takkan basah punya.paling2 pun kene beberapa titik je..mak pun jengah keluar dan jengah keadaan."hm, ok". "yes!".mak memang mak yang paling sporting sedunia.

keluar main.lepas hujan paling seronok sekali main tangkap berudu kat tanah lapang ala-ala cerita Doraemon kat atas bukit taman perumahan kami.time tu kami tinggal kat taman selayang utama, selayang, selangor.dengan jiran2 yang mana mak diorang sporting jugak tu,kitorang pon cari plastik atau bekas apa-apa la.botol pun boleh jugak.time tu tengok berudu sangat comel.tangkap banyak-banyak.lepas tu,lopak2 yang jernih, besar dan cantik tu kitorang main lompat2.

kadang-kadang,mak tak bagi main sebab hujan seperti agak tak berhenti..huu aku pun tak tahu la ape maknanya kat sini.jadi, kitorang bosan.sedih.tapi mak sebagai seorang yang kreatif dan peka dengan keadaan emosi anak dia takkan biarkan kami bersedih.dia pun reka la permainan yang boleh dimainkan indoor.haaa..nak tau tak apa.benda ni dubuat menggunakan daun pisang.atau lebih tepat lagi,batang ditengah2 daun pisang.setelah mak ambil daunnya untuk dijadikan pembalut kuih atau apa2 menu hari ini, batang yang tengah tu la mak guna buat permainan kami.ia dipotong dalam 13cm.lepas tu, bahagian atas seperti dicantas sehingga membentuk bukaan separa.tak boleh potong habis atau permainan ni takkan jadi.buat bukaan yang sama dalam 2 hingga 3.
lepas tu dah boleh main.gerakkan dengan pantas batang daun pisang tu dengan pantas dan ia akan menghasilkan bunyi yang best.
pandai2 korang la nak reka corak permainan macam mana then.

when your heart beats with the same pace as mine

no matter what the wh question is
even when you do things differently
no matter who starts to call first
even when it turns into a fight
no matter how each of us express the heat
even when it feels awkward at first
no matter why we went into a fight
even for no particular reason
no matter what the wh question is

when your heart beats with the same pace as mine
nothing matters but ours.

a hectic day at work with post-convo plan in mind

what a hectic day.first, arrive early morning at work with such a great plan in mind.by 1030 i will be heading to uia to collect on stage picture with shira.then, join in with others who plan to do some camwhoring.wow this is actually the thing that i look forward to.

suddenly, a very last minute order from boss to edit urgent info to also a very important proposal washes away all my imagination of the cheeky, out of the box pose that i'm gonna probably be making afterwards.sooo soooo frustrating..but it's still good there..yeah it's true every cloud has a silver lining.as in this particular incident,suddenly, out of nowhere i become very and i really mean it, verrry energetic, focused and critical.ssooo not like any other usual day where i'll be very drowsy and lifeless if that's count as a synonym to lazy.uhuh.

so with that level of anxiety and energy, i skilfully parry any interference and do the work dedicatedly.haha...still, i miss the chance of camwhoring with the others.sad =(

so the moral of the story here, if u are not the boss, don't plan your schedule like u're the boss. =(

hati hampa or hati kosong

for several days i've been experiencing awkwardness in the core of my heart. as my heart aches, trembles, vibrates, in a very unstable and incoherent manner, my conscious mind starts to decipher all the codes of arts the cunning heart is juggling or playing with.so which one, the heart or the mind is the disingeniuous one?i need to uncover this as i need to put the blame on something or someone.yeah, someone, maybe afterall someone is supposed to be pointed to.not thing.my heart and my mind are just part of someone.and that someone is me.oh no, no, no...i'm not guilty for this.i'm totally innocent.just look at my cute-as-though-false-lashes-i'm-wearing blinking-eyes talking to you of the pureness inside.oh, what crap is dis.

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?
most of the time i like it fast but moderately.not so fast.

Out of all the shoe companies what is your favorite?
many cause i just lurve shoes.

Are you texting anyone?
yup.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
not really

What were you doing at midnight last night?
a very gud sleep on my own bed.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name begins with J?
of course.its mak jumilah.

Have you ever been in a car accident?
no.

Will you be in a relationship next month?
maybe not.

Are you happy with the way life is going?
not really.

Do you laugh easily?
yes.giggle also.

Are you generally a nice person?
well i try not to be nice all the time but i just dont know how to say no.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today?
i hate cigarettes.

What will you be doing tonight?
terawih n then shopping at jln tar.

Would you ever die your hair black?
no.

Are you happy to go back to school?
i really cherished moments back at school.

Any regrets?
no regrets on every crucial decision in life that i've made.

Hate anybody?
dislike maybe.

Are you keeping a big secret from anyone?
yes.

What time do you plan on going to bed?
10.45pm.i know,early for most ppl.

Last person you talked on the phone with?
mak.

Last time you went to the beach?
June kot.

Anything you'd like to say to someone?
i'm sorry.

When was the last time you attended a barbecue?
early this year.

Have you ever received a call that made you cry?
yes.

Your last ex says they never even liked you, you say?


What is something you disliked about today?
a very bored day cause no task at all.


When was the last time you felt really excited?
long ago.cant even remember when.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
depends.


Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
i hope i cud.

What was the first thing you thought when you woke up today?
work.

just another post

its been a very long time since the last time i update anything here.it's not dat i dun want to.in fact, i always think about scribbling here.however, the fact dat i have a problem in accepting the reality of my life now (working and not anymore studying. having lots of friends or interesting activities to do like back then) really2 stressed me up.it makes me think that im a very boring person.and i start counting how many friends left i have. the last time i wrote was the first day of Ramadhan and now we are approaching Syawal.it's just around the corner.I hope i'll be celebrating this raya with a lot more happiness and gratefulness. ow ya, speaking of raya, i also hope i will have the courage to go to mom, hold her hands tight and beg for forgiveness like i always want to.but always fail too.i've sinned a lot towards her, one thing that im sure of but too ego to say it out front to her.huhuhu..what kind of daughter am i.yeh,stubborn, hard hearted n etc.

Dear mom,

Im so sorry for every single thing i've done dat hurt your loving heart.every tears u shed because of my misbehavior.i promise n i try to be the best child for u mom.

Kembalinya sang Kekasih

Kala menghayati senja beradu,
Indah terbentang keringat Ilahi,
Kutadah hati kutagih rindu,
Duhai sayang selamat kembali.

Aku teramat merinduimu..
Ramadhanku..

a victim of love

what love is..i'm sure everybody, in certain phase of their life will start to question about love.however, whatever the curiosity would be, one thing for sure, love is full of mystery.no one can ever discover a mere fact out of it.

This second time of loving you
i feel like crying
it's the greatest feeling
Greater than the greatest feeling
the first time i fall in love with you

unanimous or known

i been thinking to let this blog go public. anyone from everywhere can read. maybe i am not that famous that people would want to even peek at but i think maybe, just maybe i can share something beneficial from my side to others unintentionally.

urgh!!!

you know what, what i hate about involving with this blog is that everytime i sit in front of this effing computer, all my thoughts, complaints, suggestions and everything i was wanting to say suddenly go away. yup, even now. i'm sure there were A LOT in my mind before but now,they all disappeared~~ why?why?urghh!!!

yesterday was such an amazing day for me. it was my birthday. my very special day. and very different one from last year. it made me think that wow, a year has passed and a lot of things had occurred in just a short time. i feel so blessed with what God has granted upon me.

last year : waiting
this year : fighting!

last year : gloomy
this year : happy!

last year : study
this year : happy!

last year : cry cry cry
this year : happy!

last year : lonely
this year : happy!

last year : hurt
this year : heal..

The Beginning...

The invention of a blot of bluff life happens because i want to reveal a frank tiny thoughts of mine sumwhere massive. it is suppose to be a reflection, or mirror to my everyday thoughts and life.(yeah,duh..of coz lar..). well, i am soooo new to this thing called blog.i hope you guyz out there can teach me in any way.and i hope i can be steadfast with this so-called e-diaries.(because i've never stay faithful with the traditional one before). and i hope,lar bape byk i hope daaa...ok enuf with my hopes.don't get me wrong yah, i've always heard about blog and been exposed to it before.it just that the seru for me to actually write it has never came across my mind before.only now i feel like doing it.do you want to know why in the first place i suddenly have a keen interest in this?ok i really have to confess this.and you must read this because it might be BECAUSE OF YOU!hehe..now lets have a flashback from the beginning of the beginning...once upon a time,in a land far far away.....near a 'crystal clear' river called sungai pusu...a group of final sem BENL students were assigned to do a group blog..so basically, i was introduced to blog making at this time lar.. and of coz it did'nt even trigger me to have my own since you know,it's a formal education based blog and all.

then,after i graduated (chewah,mcm da lame plak grad), i started to read some of my peers' blog.credit to alia,ira,emah,meena and many others.yeah,thanx to you guys.suddenly my whole perception towards blogging change in a blink of an eye.hehe..kidding.in quite a number blink of eyes..haha.after i browsed through their blogs,there was like a voice in my head telling me to try.and Blogspot goes "try me! try me!". and then i go,hmmmmmmm bley tahan gak menatang nih..so to cut it short, here i am!in your magical world of blogging-together with the rest of bloggers out there exploring the excitement of blogging.